Tasteful Leopard-print Turnbuckles: 205 Live (11/7/2017)

Yesterday, U.K. Champion Pete Dunne punched Enzo Amore in the face on Raw. It was amazing. To cut down on the cost of flying over the entire cruiserweight division, the U.K. boys have been invited to make a guest appearance on 205 too — the actual show, and Enzo’s debuting “The Zo Show.” Beyond never wanting to get behind Enzo, I also can’t get behind that name. You could have gone with the “The Enzone” and you go with “The Zo Show”?

Ben Wyatt would be so disappointed. The intro says this crossover is a “one night only” event. Honestly, it’s for the best. This belt seems cursed, and I don’t want Pete Dunne touched by this darkness. Will the wildly underutilized lads from the UK make the most of their time in the … Zone? All that and more in last night’s 205 Live recap.

The Enzone

“Choo choo choo! The Zo train is out of the station.” Nigel, no. Enzo kicks off the show in as much of an understated and classy outfit as I think he can muster: only the best for the Enzone. (I’m never going to call it the Zo Show.) The crowd starts chanting “boring” a couple of minutes in. Honestly, same. Enzo is exhausting on the mic when left to his own devices for more than a minute or two. He’s not really phased by their disinterest, to his credit, but it drags on way too long. He brings out the boys of the UK tourney (well, some of them). Here’s a little round robin.

Baby Balor: Jordan Devlin is cancelled. He’s on the Zo train. Come for your recalcitrant trainee, Balor.

Tucker: The best. He throws Jordan under the bus and announces Enzo and Jordan are half the man Finn Balor is.

James Drake: His hair is beautiful. It’s a shame. He’s team Zo.

Mark Andrews: What happened with this beard? Oh no. Enzo makes a fat joke about Mark Andrews. Get out.

Tyler Bate: Tyler Bate! Tyler Tyler Bate! Enzo says he “mustache” Tyler a question. Why does he deserve a seat on the Zo Train? Tyler Bate makes an exasperated noise into the microphone. Big mood, Tyler. He is not on the Zo train. Bless his little heart.

Enzo says he can still find a spot for Tyler on the train … as his butler. Tyler pops him once in the face, and Kalisto springs out to set us free from the Enzone. Lucha, lucha! It’s Tyler that gets a match for tonight though, facing Enzo later in the show.

Kalisto (W)  vs. Gentleman Jack Gallagher’s Amazing Heel Music

Jack Gallagher’s new theme is cool as heck y’all. Personally, I was a little worried about the prospect of turning him heel at first, but he’s taken to the role with aplomb. Jack Gallagher rolls out to sniff about welfare and “chavvy children,” because who doesn’t love to mock the poor. The promos could maybe use a little freshening up, but his in-ring work is amazing. He’s a mean and nasty asshole on the mic and just as mean and nasty as a wrestler now, a relentless and cruel brawler.

Kalisto does his best to get the crowd pumped up, but they seem reluctant to cheer against the hometown boy. It’s still a great match. We’re reminded why Kalisto should be champion, and Jack looks like a strong contender for the belt in the future. Shoutout to the enthusiastic kids in the front who give the lucha, lucha chant their all after Kalisto takes the win.

Mark Andrews and Cedric Alexander (W) vs. James Drake and Joseph Conners

Mark Andrews skanks out to the ring to join Cedric Alexander in cruiserweight action. Is he the new Sami? Was that actually skanking?

We revisit the bio packages of James Drake and Joseph Conners since this is the first time we’ve seen them since January. Somehow they all look way shinier than they did all those long months ago. It’s great to see WWE bring in some of the talents from the UK tournament for a local-to-them show. It’s also a keen reminder of how little we’ve seen of most of them since the tournament ended. This match is fun to watch, but advertising this as a one night only affair strips the entire show of any real stakes. The shooting star press Andrews hits to take the pin is still absolutely gorgeous though.

Tyler Bate vs. Enzo Amore (W)

“I believe I stand above the rest because of my maturity at such a young age!” Ok, Tyler. That’s what we all said at your age. Where Drake and Conners made me wistful for a bigger UK presence on WWE tv: Tyler Bate reminded me why they’re in a much better position as they are now: free to up their rates for all the indie bookings their heart desires and not contractually obligated to listen to Enzo Amore talk all the time.

The crowd finally knows who they want to cheer for with this one, and they get into a rousing Mustache Mountain cheer early on. Enzo fully embraces being the villain in this match. He goes hard at Bates in the corners and yelling at the crowd whenever they begin to cheer for Tyler.

I am forced to admit that Enzo Amore puts on pretty good matches, though he doesn’t seem very happy about it. He gets the pin on Tyler and proceeds to keep hitting him while he’s down, prompting Kalisto to run out and scare him off while the ref checks on Tyler in the ring. It probably is the right thing to do have Enzo win leading up to a title defense. It’s tough to see him get such a resounding victory over the babyface of Mustache Mountain on Tyler’s home turf.

pic.twitter.com/DF63QT3JRg

— TDE Wrestling (@totaldivaseps) November 8, 2017

Same, Tyler.

That wraps up today’s trip down memory lane in 205 Live: International Travel is Expensive edition. Please find ways for us to see the UK tournament folks more often, WWE. Just don’t give any of them a title shot until we finally break this curse.

Join us again next week for more cruiserweight action.